Confrontation. Some people thrive on it. I think people that do are mostly Energy Vampires. Thriving on conflict means that an individual is fueling him/herself with the very negativity that we hope to eradicate.
Confrontion. Some people avoid it at all costs. This can be a destructive as the individuals who thrive upon it. If you avoid all confrontation, people walk all over you. Rules and regulations get ignored. And avoiding confrontation means that you are never making the big, tough, decisions--decisions that often define you. Those who avoid confrontation completely remind me of the old atomic bomb drills my parents told me about. They put their heads down and hope the destruction and fallout doesn't hit them.
George is turning the corner as he faces down his Energy Vampires, firing two in the process. This is not fun. My job has forced me to confront some tough issues, and whether my decisions were right or wrong, they were difficult and they extracted an emotional toll on me.
If you feel comfortable, share your thoughts on this question: where do you lie on the spectrum of confrontation. From thriving upon it to avoiding it, where are you at, and how would like to improve as an individual?
I have to admit that when I was younger, I was more up for confrontation. I liked to "argue" my point and prove that I was right. While some would still argue that I am that way, and I may still have some need to be right in me, I find myself trying to avoid confrontation. While I think that is good for the most part, I sometimes feel like I let those around me, like my children, down, because I sometimes avoid conflicts that I should probably take on for their best interest.
ReplyDeleteI see confrontation as a form of caring. That said, the confrontation I am talking about is not for inducing conflict. I am talking about the confrontation helps. If I am doing something wrong or hurtful, I expect the people around me to correct me for my sake and the sake of others. This confrontation often brings clarity and direction and makes me feel a lot better in the end.
ReplyDeleteI avoid confrontation a lot more than I used to (at least at school!) Most of my "confrontations" now are a result of kids not doing their work - I take it too personally when this happens and need to do more stepping back and reflecting why a student chooses failure and how i can attempt to solve that issue, as opposed to immediately reacting with frustration.
ReplyDeleteConfrontation is a difficult area for me. As a teacher, husband, father, etc., I have so many confrontations that have to made that I spend most of my time figuring out how to see problems coming from afar or preparing for the confrontation. The trick is to not "worry" about the possible confrontations, but to prepare proactively and have an ace in the hole for when it comes. I spend a lot of time going through scenarios in my mind about classroom conflicts, children conflicts, etc. This is so much more productive than my haphazard approach as a youngster.
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